Last month we celebrated the end of slavery in the US, and this month we celebrated Independence Day. While reflecting on the sacrifices made by military members, their families, and many brave others throughout our country's history, I was filled with reverence and gratitude.
But what makes sacrifice so beautiful when it often comes with so much pain, suffering, and loss? I believe the answer is both simple and complex: love.
Expressing love with words can be easy, but demonstrating love often is not.
What Does Sacred Scripture Say about Love?
We can glean much about love from studying sacred scripture; much more than what can be deposited in a laywoman’s blog post, but let’s cover some basics.
Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proudor rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. -John 15:13
To sacrifice our own life is what the Lord calls the greatest love.
When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them because they were distressed and helpless like sheep without a shepherd. Then he said to his disciples, “The harvest is abundant, but the laborers are few. Therefore, ask the Lord of the harvest to send forth laborers for his harvest.” -Matthew 9:36-38
The world is abundant with people to love, serve, and share the good news with, but those willing to fulfill the call are few. So, we are commanded not only to serve but also to pray for more Kingdom servants. Christians, we are not called to a life of leisure but to a life of service in love. Indeed, this must be balanced with the rest we are also commanded to take, but we would be wise to remember that even the rest is not entirely for ourselves but rather that we would be replenished that we may minister to and through Lord, Jesus.
To serve is to love, and service equals sacrifice in some way, shape or form. This could be through a financial sacrifice (though we won’t cover this topic in this particular post), a sacrifice of time, forgiveness, or even effort- love involves work.
Sacrifice of Time
How many of us have so called “spare time”? My guess is no one. We have to make time for our loved ones, which often means sacrificing, or pushing aside, something else we needed or wanted to do.
A friend once pointed out to me that in scripture, we never see Jesus get in a hurry. He always had somewhere to be, something to do, someone to heal or minister to. But that didn’t stop Him from retreating and spending time with the Father in prayer. It also didn’t stop Him from making time for people. He didn’t see the people He encountered and their requests as interruptions, but as brothers and sisters to love. Though at times people turned Him away, we don’t see Him turning anyone away.
I think this can serve as a beautiful reminder especially when it comes to children. Whether our own children, or children we teach, or care for in some capacity, sometimes the work involved with upkeeping a home, organization, service, or facility for children, can keep us so busy that we miss out on the blessing of the relationship with them. It’s not that the work or tasks involved in childcare can be ignored, but we must allow these beautiful souls the time and attention they need; in turn refreshing ourselves. As always, healthy boundaries should be set.
My Own Experience
I used to frequently explain to my daughter that she must respect my quiet time when I am reading my bible and praying. Despite setting out snacks and activities to choose from that she can manage independently, it was still interruption after interruption. She is what I have heard explained as a “more child." At first, I thought maybe I was naïve first-time mom, even though I had experience in childcare and education at the time (things are different when they are your own!)
But my own mother confirmed that she is more like having two or three children without the convenience have having a playmate. That’s ok, her energy brings joy to many and I love her as she is. I also know God gave her to us for a reason (and I am so thankful!) But I did have to set boundaries with her, because up until recently, she always woke at 5 am or earlier. She has not taken naps since 18 months old, and still fights sleep every- single- night, which gave me no time for quiet time. I began explaining, yes to a 2 year old at the time, that in order to do my best as a mommy and to love her the most I possibly could I needed time with Jesus, and she needed to be quiet during this time and entertain herself and feed herself with the things I had already provided for her. This took a lot of time, patience, and prayer for gentleness on my end.
When she would come to me for a hug, snuggle, question, or any number of shenanigans, I embraced her. Then reminded her it was my quiet time. Yes, there were times I got a bit frustrated, and there were times I simply gave in and turned on the tv so I could have just a few minutes of peace. But over time as, we kept this discipline in place (no, not perfectly, but we kept at it), and as she matured in age, quiet time got easier. Now she looks forward to her own devotional time when mine is finished. And someday she will be able to have this devotional time without me, just her and Christ. Little by little, brick by brick, God gets guides us through such processes.
When others saw children as an inconvenience Jesus welcomed them:
One day some parents brought their little children to Jesus so he could touch and bless them. But when the disciples saw this, they scolded the parents for bothering him.
Then Jesus called for the children and said to the disciples, “Let the children come to me. Don’t stop them! For the Kingdom of God belongs to those who are like these children. I tell you the truth, anyone who doesn’t receive the Kingdom of God like a child will never enter it.” -(Luke18:15-17).
This concept might also be applied to other dependent persons in our care such as elderly or those with disabilities. Or maybe even to our very own spouse’s, friends, or peers in the workplace. When others come to us in need, we can’t allow our own agenda to be more important than they are. This can be especially difficult for those of us with “type A” personalities, also known as “Martha’s.”
But remember that Christ loved Martha too, and though she struggled to rest in His presence, unlike her sister Mary, he understood her struggle. But He also called her to release it for own good and for the good of others (Luke10:38-42).
Sometimes love calls for sacrificing our own will and agenda.
Maybe the challenge with your children or other dependents, isn't quiet time but rather completing chores, getting rest, working, or finding time for all of the above and more. Whatever demands you face, be encouraged by Christ's words:
"For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat; I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink; I was a stranger and you welcomed me; I was naked and you clothed me; I was ill and you took care of me; I was in prison and you came to visit me.’
Then the righteous will say to him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and give you something to eat, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? When did we see you ill or in prison and come to visit you?’ And the King will answer, ‘Amen, I say to you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brethren of mine, you did for me.’" Matthew 25:35-40
What I am trying to convey here is that it would have been easier to get upset, give up on quiet time, or lose my patience with my sweet baby girl. But I had to keep in mind that she is not an inconvenience or an obstacle. She is a part of the ministry God has granted me, a part of the reason I need time in solitude with God, so I that I can overflow in the fruits of the Spirit, serving her and the rest of our family, along with others. I must see her and treat her with the same love Christ would. I must serve her as though I were serving Christ himself. I am His hands and feet to her-a representation of Christ and His very own love for her.
We can't lose sight of the mission (loving God and loving people), in the midst of the work and business of the ministry. We must trust God to provide and to fill in the gaps where we fall short (more wisdom from that dear friend).
Sacrifices Involved in Practicing Patience and Extending Grace
How many of us are naturally patient? How many of us are naturally gracious toward others? I would think this is a struggle for more people than it isn’t. To harbor patience and grace in our hearts requires the mind and peace of Christ- which is also found in the sacrifice of time.
Spending time with the Lord in prayer.
Taking time to worship and praise.
Devoting time to studying and meditating on scripture.
Prioritizing time in fellowship with other faithful followers of Christ.
The Sacrifice Involved in Forgiveness
What about forgiveness? How often do we struggle to forgive others?
“Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.”
Right? We say it in the Lord’s prayer all the time, but yet we struggle to let go of the pain. And depending on the degree of the offense, this may prove completely understandable from our human perspective. But God still tells us to do it (Matthew 6:14-15). This doesn’t mean boundaries go out the window, and in some cases total reconciliation with the offender may not be possible due to safety concerns. But regardless, we are instructed to pray for and to do good for those who hurt us (Luke 6:27-30).
How is it possible for a mother to pray for the drunk driver that killed her child? How could a husband possibly pray for his unfaithful wife? How can you be expected to pray for the parent that abused you? What about those who have been mutilated by unsuccessful abortions- they were supposed to be murdered at their most vulnerable state- how do they forgive that attempt to end their life and the health issues or physical obstacles they now face?
Can we earnestly pray for someone without some sense of love and compassion for them?
The possibility to truly love our trespassers comes only through Christ and His overabundant love that overflows in our own hearts when we allow it to. But this too requires time, patience, and being open to much Heavenly grace. These things do not come naturally to our flesh. But in Sacred Scripture, God doesn’t tell us to ‘go with the flow’ and give in to our fleshly desires and inclinations. No, rather we are instructed to do the exact opposite:
Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there. - Galatians 5:24-25
Crucify. We are not instructed to merely discipline our sinful flesh predisposition, but to actually spiritually execute it- violently. This includes unforgiveness.
So, in relation to forgiving those who have so deeply harmed us, this more often than not, will be a process. And God understands our pain and our hurt more than anyone. Forgiveness doesn’t negate your legitimate, heartbreaking suffering, but rather it is a healthy way of enduring and recovering from the hurt or even trauma. Remember, God doesn’t ask us to do anything Jesus himself didn’t do.
Jesus had every reason to hate those who crucified Him, but instead he prayed, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do.” (Luke 23:34).
Rely on Him in this process. We can’t just say we forgive and offer up a prayer of lip service, because He sees beyond that into our hearts. We must walk with Him and Trust in Him, one step at a time, allowing Him to truly change us inside, out.
From the Mouths of Babes
The other morning when my daughter and I were doing her devotion, the theme was about not fearing to ask God for what we need. I asked what she needed that we could pray about that morning. Her response blew me away.
She didn’t pray for a toy, ice cream, or trip to the beach (which she has been begging for this year); no- she reminded me of what Jesus meant when he said we must be like children to enter the Kingdom of God.
Her prayer was Psalm 51:10, “Create in me a clean heart, oh God, and renew a right spirit within me.”
My daughter is four years old, and that was her prayer when prompted to pray for something she needed. Now does she fully comprehend that scripture and our fallen nature? Of course not! But she recognizes the need for all of our hearts to be made more like Christ’s. Afterward, I realized my own need to pray for such childlike faith and humility.
The Sacrifice involved in Effort
Now let’s consider the effort put into love. Again, I would ask how many adults would honestly say they just have loads extra focus and energy? Probably not very many (if any!) Life can be so busy. Personally, I consistently find myself praying that God would help me maintain a mind centered on the Kingdom. What is truly important at the end of the day? Loving God and Loving others- isn't that really what the 10 commandments even come down to? To serve God and to serve others requires intentional effort and a heart aligned with His will rather than our own.
Love and Sacrifice
To love is to sacrifice. When we marry, we agree to put our spouse’s needs above our own. When women have children we sacrifice our bodies, not just the way it looks but also sometimes abilities (Like strength, stamina, or even concentration) that are lost or decreased and require work to regain later. All parents sacrifice sleep at some point. Functional families, relationships, careers, and any call to ministry all entail a sacrifice of time at some point. To honor God and to serve others wholeheartedly will naturally require self-denial and self- sacrifice. Sometimes these sacrifices feel like a loss. But again, keep in mind the words of Jesus:
“If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me. For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it. For what profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul? Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul? -Matthew 16:24-26
All too often, vulnerable populations such as; babies in the womb, young children, elderly, and those with disabilities are seen as burdens, inconveniences and obstacles. (Many societies around the world do not think this way. This seems to be an issue in affluent nations like the U.S.) But God values life; beginning with the innocent in the womb (Psalm 139:13-14, Exodus 21:22-25). Children have and always will be a gift from God (Psalm 127:3). The wisdom of the elderly is a blessing (Proverbs 16:31) and they are to be respected and cared for (Lev 19:32). And those with disabilities, though they too may be dependent on someone else; sometimes for life; can teach the rest of so much, blessing us in the most unique ways.
No career that you could have chased, no corporate ladder that you could have climbed, no places you could have traveled, no amount of "fun," and no amount of money that you could have saved would have been worth the souls that were entrusted to you.
Beloved servants of the Lord, when we choose to serve others and love others before ourselves, we don’t miss out on anything.
When we meet our maker, it won't matter what our net worth was, if we were famous, rich, or Hollywood beautiful. Jesus said in Matthew 7:21:
“Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven.
The will of the Father has always been that we care for "the least of these."
I would like to encourage you to look at all the love you've gained and to remember that what the world calls success is usually rubbish in God's eyes anyway. Maybe you chose life for your child before you were ready to be a parent, or maybe you took on your grandchildren, someone else’s children, or another dependent person. Maybe you chose this route or perhaps you feel you were somehow pressured or forced into it. But we always have the option of choosing to love, even if our circumstances aren’t what we had mind. Be encouraged; though you may feel like you have lost much, taking on the responsibility of serving someone else, it hasn't caused you to lose anything of eternal value.
Love Passed On
Sometimes we forget that though our Father in Heaven loves to bless us, the blessing isn’t always about us. Sometimes our sacrifices and obedience will draw others to the Lord (Praise God!). Sometimes such merits will be rewarded to our children, their children, other believers, the church as a whole, or someone we don’t even know. Think of the Hebrew nation- how often were they rewarded based on one person’s actions, like Joseph (son of Jacob), or Moses. Think of the Blessed Virgin Mary; how greatly we have benefitted from her willingness to live a life submitted to God. Ultimately think of Christ and His willingness to suffer for us (Romans 5:18-19).
Remember we are in this together, and the love of Christ that unites us is not for selfish purposes but rather it is to be shared among us as heirs of the Kingdom as well as heirs in His suffering (Romans 8:17). Jesus, the servant King, didn’t act to benefit Himself but rather always for the good of others (Mark 10:45). We share in the kingdom; in His priesthood, by doing the same.
